


snitches get kisses

by peterandhispirate



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drinking, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-20 19:47:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16562144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peterandhispirate/pseuds/peterandhispirate
Summary: Tyler finds out Josh is hiding a cat in his dorm and decides to use it as blackmail.Because he's an asshole.





	snitches get kisses

Looking back on it, Josh didn’t know why he left the door open. Maybe he was just tired, or forgetful, or dumb. Maybe it was fate. Either way, it didn’t take long for him to realize he fucked up: the orange blur in the far corner of his vision told him everything he needed to know.

His cat was loose.

The cat he wasn’t supposed to have. The cat he hid under a laundry basket whenever there was a dorm-check. The cat that was now freely roaming the halls because he was too incompetent to close a door.

Like any jackass about to be exposed for harboring a fugitive, Josh wasted no time going after him, out of his dorm and up the corridor with the mantra _holyshitholyshitholyshit_ running circles in his brain like a panicking dog. The dog went ten times faster when he realized he had no fucking clue which way the bastard had gone; because it was just about midnight, he could only creep through the halls like a freak and whisper-scream his name. That’s how you make friends in college, right? Act like a complete and total dumbass while other people are trying to sleep?

Luckily (or unluckily) for him, somebody else happened to be awake and roaming the halls, and Josh almost slammed into this somebody when he rounded a corner.

“Shit, my bad,” he mumbled, clearly embarrassed, but the embarrassment disappeared when he saw the cat cradled in the dude’s arms. _His_ cat.

“This yours?” The eyes were dark; curious. The relief blooming between Josh’s ribs was replaced by hot, sticky nausea, because admitting to it meant he was breaking the rules. But maybe this guy was sweet. Maybe he wouldn’t snitch.

So Josh cleared his throat and said, “I... yeah. Yeah, he’s mine.”

The stranger hummed, gathering up the half-awake bundle of fur and handing him off to Josh, who held him like a long-lost son. And he thought - prayed - that nothing else would happen. They would both return to their respective dorms and never speak of the incident with the runaway cat. So Josh smiled at him in a final show of gratitude and started backing up.

But he thought wrong, because that’s when the dude smiled back all sly. That’s when he said, “I thought pets weren’t allowed.”

Fuck. Shit. Dammit.

Josh stopped cold, the blood draining from his stupid face. “They’re, uh. They’re not.”

The apparent asshole raised both eyebrows. He was still smiling.

“Please don’t tell anyone,” Josh said with as much desperation as he could manage, which was a lot. He was a pretty desperate guy.

The eyebrows went even higher.

“Dude.” Josh would’ve gotten on his knees if he hadn’t been holding a sleeping animal at the time. Besides, he only had a single shred of dignity left and liked to think he wasn’t totally pathetic. “I’m begging you.”

Another hum. And then, “What’s in it for me?”

Josh could only stare at him, eyes threatening to pop out of his head and roll down the hallway. “You’re kidding, right?”

Painfully serious, the wannabe Disney villain flashed a set of crooked, wolfish teeth. Josh already hated his guts. “Not even a little bit, my man.”

Josh had no choice but to use his free hand to grab said villain by the arm and drag him down the corridor and into his (still open) dorm, flinging the door shut behind them. It was almost like he was about to do an interrogation, except the guy he was interrogating had all the power. It fucking sucked - especially when he had the audacity to look around and say, “Nice place. I’m Tyler, by the way.”

“Listen, I dunno how I managed to piss you off-“

“You haven’t pissed me off,” Tyler interrupted, hands in his pockets - casual, like he wasn’t about to rat someone out. “M’just taking advantage of the situation. That’s all.”

Josh ran a twitchy hand through his hair, sending yellow curls every which way. “What do you want, then? Money? Pot?”

Tyler shrugged. The bastard had the nerve to _shrug_. “Haven’t really decided yet.”

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” Josh said, one part pissed and two parts shocked because this was unbelievable. So much for seeing the good in people.

“Nope,” Tyler said, popping the p, and Josh was starting to feel more and more helpless. So he went the emotional route, because surely this guy had a connection to some long-dead childhood pet. Surely he saw where Josh was coming from when he lowered his voice and said, “I know you probably think it’s just some dumb cat, but he means a lot to me.”

Tyler just nodded, borderline condescending. Not even borderline. Josh was definitely being patronized. “I’m sure he does.”

“Please don’t,” Josh whispered, but Tyler was already making his way out the door, hands still in his pockets and taunting him over his shoulder: “The begging’s cute. Pathetic, but cute.”

And Josh could only watch him go, powerless.

 

;

 

It had been a week since the mess started and Josh was on edge. Part of him wished Tyler would just hurry up and snitch already; that way he wouldn’t have to lose ten years of his life whenever he got an email. He just kept waiting to read the words _we_ _have_ _been_ _informed_ _by_ _an_ _anonymous_ _source_ _that_ _you_ _are_ _keeping_ _an_ _unauthorized_ _animal_ _in_ _your_ _dorm_.

He tried to come up with a backup plan, but it seemed like his only real option was to drop the cat off at a shelter: both of his parents were allergic and he didn’t have any friends that would be willing to take him. In other words, he was fucked - unless Tyler had a sudden change of heart and decided to keep his big mouth shut.

That wasn’t going to happen.

To make things ten times more frustrating, Tyler always gave him this _look_ whenever they passed each other in the hallway. Eyebrows raised, mouth curled, chin lifted. So smug. Josh knew it was wrong to really, truly hate people, especially when he barely knew them, but Tyler made it pretty goddamn difficult. So difficult that Josh couldn’t help but pull him aside one day, spurred by the conceit gleaming between those crooked teeth.

“Just tell me what the hell you want, Tyler,” Josh demanded, coming out the gate strong but losing steam when he watched Tyler bite back a laugh. He thought it was funny. He was _enjoying_ it.

Asshole.

“Still figuring that out,” the asshole said, shrugging - as dismissive as ever. “Sorry.”

Josh blinked, and shook his head, and said, “You’re... God. You’re the worst.”

“C’mon, dude. Don’t be mad at me because you let your dumb cat roam the halls.” Each word that left his mouth was more infuriating than the last until Josh was ready to snap at him. Josh, who couldn’t raise his voice at somebody to save his life. Tyler truly did bring out the worst in people.

“He wasn’t roaming.” Spoken through gritted teeth. “He escaped. There’s a difference.”

“Uh huh,” Tyler said, and Christ, he was basically _grinning_. Josh felt white-hot and powerless and empty all at once. He was so swamped with emotion that the only way he could really express himself was by curling his lip and saying, “I hate you.”

“I’m sure you do, man.” Tyler clapped him on the shoulder. Josh shrugged it off. “I’m sure you do.”

Like always, Tyler was the one who walked off and left Josh feeling stupid. To be fair, he _always_ felt stupid, but this was different. It was different because his face was all warm and pink and he hated himself for it.

Thinking Tyler was cute? Dumb. Thinking Tyler was hot? Twice as dumb. Josh was dumb.

Dumb enough to jack off with Tyler’s stupid face in mind.

 

;

 

Josh didn’t get drunk a lot. Every few months he would get hammered and cry on the bathroom floor, but other than that? No. Which is why he was almost confused to find himself sitting out in the hallway, knees pulled to his chest and head tipped back against the wall. He was sleepy, eyes fluttering open and shut like his body couldn’t decide whether or not it was time to pass out.

And because God wanted to see him suffer, Tyler happened to be coming back from a frat party right when Josh was sitting wasted on the floor. Because of course. Of course Tyler had to start walking past him only to realize who it was and spin on his heel, strolling straight up to Josh and dropping down to look him in the eye, smiling.

“Didn’t really take you for an alcoholic, dude.” Josh was drunk, sure, but he was also sober enough to know when he was being teased. “S’not a good look.”

He just groaned and let his eyes slide shut.

“There are better places to nap, y’know.”

That’s when Tyler curled an arm around Josh’s waist, dragging him to his feet and holding him steady when he swayed, knees trembling; face buried deep in Tyler’s shoulder.

He smelled like shitty Dollar Tree cologne. Josh loved it.

Tyler must’ve looked ridiculous hauling Josh’s incapacitated ass down the hall, struggling to open the door to his dorm and support his weight at the same time. But he swallowed his pride and succeeded, arm still wrapped snug around Josh’s middle when he guided him all the way to his bed, watching him flop down on the sheets and curl into a drunken ball of messy curls and mumbled _thank_ _you’s._

“You’re welcome,” Tyler said, voice painfully soft, and he meant it. Good deed over and done with, he turned to leave - only to be reeled back in by the cat that seemed to materialize out of nowhere, hopping up onto the bed and snuggling into Josh’s side, purring like a rusty car engine all the while.

Oh.

This was one of the few times where Tyler felt genuinely conflicted, and maybe even a little guilty. Toying with Josh was fun. Toying with _anyone_ was fun. Especially when he could get something out of it.

But watching Josh smile all sleepy and reach down to pat his cat’s head was... cute. It was so cute, and Tyler felt like the world’s biggest, most shameless asshole.

Not wanting to stand there too long (because that would be creepy), he left Josh’s dorm behind, making sure to close the door on his way out.

Like most people who get shit-faced late at night, Josh woke up with a migraine powerful enough to split his head in half. He also had a class at ten, which meant he could only choke down some Ibuprofen and hope for the best. And ‘the best’ involved bumping into Tyler the second he walked outside, because as we’ve already established, God wanted him dead.

“Try not to throw up anywhere,” was the first thing out of Tyler's mouth, crooked teeth flashing - as patronizing as ever. “That would be gross.”

Definitely not in the mood for _this_ , Josh gave him a look heated enough to kill cancer cells. “If I do, I’m gonna aim in your direction.”

“You really think you can aim for shit after getting blackout drunk last night?” Smiling. He was always fucking smiling.

“I don’t even like beer that much,” Josh insisted, face blistering with embarrassment. “I’ve just been stressed lately.”

Tyler raised both eyebrows. “Yeah?”

Josh nodded, because it was true. Getting blackmailed _was_ pretty stressful. Especially when a hotshot like Tyler was the one doing the blackmailing.

“Huh." For a grand total of six seconds, Tyler seemed like a normal person who was perfectly capable of self-reflection. But the moment passed; the earnest look in his eye was replaced by a glint that made Josh’s heart wither and die in his chest. “Maybe you should go see a therapist or whatever instead of making me tuck you in.”

Face going from warm to boiling, Josh sputtered, “I didn’t make anyone do _anything_. That was all you, man."

“Say hi to your cat for me,” was all Tyler had to say to that, clapping Josh on the shoulder and brushing past him like he wasn’t even there. Watching him go, Josh couldn't help but shoot daggers at the back of his head - no, not daggers. Swords. And the words _you_ _suck_ , _Tyler_ growled soft and helpless from between gritted teeth.

Tyler didn't even turn to look at him, but his shoulders trembled with laughter.

 

;

 

Josh was fast asleep and surrounded by Reese's wrappers when the inspector knocked on his door.

"Anybody home? I'm making the rounds."

The voice was just clear enough to make Josh's eyes pop wide open, frantic hands fumbling to untangle himself from the sheets. He sat up so fast that all the oxygen seemed to leave his brain; he spent at least ten seconds just sitting there with his legs hanging over the side of the bed, nauseous and oblivious to what time it was.

"Hello?" Another knock, except this one was louder - more impatient.

"I, uh..." Blinking slow and stupid, Josh made eye contact with the cat staring up at him from the floor. "I just need a second."

That's when he heard footsteps, followed by the muffled familiarity of Tyler's voice: "Hey, could you take a look at my sink real quick? It's pretty messed up."

There was a five-second window of quiet that made Josh's heart wiggle up into his throat. That window was shattered by the inspector, who sighed and said, "I mean, I'm not a plumber, but sure."

"Thanks, man."

Josh kicked into overdrive as soon as he heard the footfalls start to fade, sliding off the bed and scooping up the source of his problems, who let out a loud _mrrow_ of protest. Mumbling every apology he could think of, Josh dropped him in the closet and shut the door, praying he would just lay low and take a nap on the pile of dirty clothes Josh _swore_ he would get around to washing. With twenty seconds to spare, he covered the litterbox in the corner with a blanket (yeah, it was gross, but desperate times call for desperate measures. And it was more incentive to do the laundry.)

He nearly pissed his pants when the third knock came. In an ideal world, he would've vacuumed every inch of his dorm to get rid of the cat hair, but he happened to live in the least ideal world out there. Which is why he fully expected the guy to give him a look when he opened the door; say something ominous like "I know what you're hiding."

"Sorry I took so long," Josh said, painfully aware of how out of breath he was. "I was, like, naked."

Now mildly uncomfortable, the inspector just glanced from left to right and said "looks good" before backing away and moving on to the next victim.

Chest deflating with relief, Josh let his eyes flutter shut. When he opened them again fifteen seconds later, Tyler had appeared in the doorframe, arms crossed and stupid mouth saying, "You're welcome."

Hostility aside, Josh had to nod, because he knew he owed him big time. "Yeah. Thanks."

The faint howls of distress coming from the closet made him realize that his cat was still trapped and probably pissed off. So he hurried across the dorm to let him out, feeling almost guilty when he marched into the open with his tail arched high over his back, heading straight for Tyler and rubbing up against his legs.

"Hey, bud," Tyler greeted him, and Josh was startled by the tenderness of his voice. He reached down to scratch behind one ear, then the other, then the chin for good measure.

"Don't love on that jerk," Josh said, protesting but sorta-kinda smiling at the same time. "He's the one trying to get you kicked out."

Tyler was smiling, too. "Only on my terms, though."

"I still don't know what you want from me."

"It's a mystery," Tyler said, wiggling his eyebrows, and Josh just snorted and said, " _You're_ a mystery, dude."

"I like being mysterious." The cat was head-butting his hand. Tyler scratched his cheek. "Makes me feel important."

Josh couldn't help but sound bitter when he mumbled, "Really? No way."

Tyler made a _tsk_ _tsk_ sound, giving Josh a charmed look and petting the cat at the same time. "Careful. I might make you write a four-page essay for my psychology class."

"I'd do anything for that dumb cat," Josh admitted, hopelessly soft, and Tyler felt something in his chest twist.

"I know."

 

;

 

Tyler started dropping by Josh's dorm unannounced. At first he'd just poke his head in and make some shitty comment, but by the end of the week he was throwing paper airplanes from Josh's desk chair. Josh wanted to be annoyed. He wanted to ignore Tyler, to kick him out, to give him weird looks. But he couldn't. Truth be told, he enjoyed the company - the last two years of his life had been pretty goddamn lonely. Eating alone, sleeping alone, studying alone. The only thing that kept him from turning into a complete and total hermit was his cat.

(And maybe, just _maybe_ Tyler had doe eyes and fluffy hair and an overall cute face. Maybe Josh wanted to see more of that face. Maybe.)

Usually Tyler would find Josh writing an essay or stuffing PopTarts in his face, but on one night in particular he found him sitting in bed with his face buried in his hands, shaking like a chihuahua with epilepsy. Tyler thought about turning around and walking out - he was awful at comforting people and it wasn't really any of his business - but something (it wasn't love shut up) compelled him to march right up to that bed and ask what was wrong.

Lifting his head with a sniffle, Josh rubbed at his eyes and croaked, "The dude who lives down the hall, he's, uh, he's having a party and he... He took my cat. He took my fucking cat."

"What?" Tyler was staring at him, caught somewhere between confusion and rage. "When?"

"Like five minutes ago. I must've left the door open again because this guy found him out in the hallway and just- he just took him," Josh whimpered. "Into the party."

"Why didn't you go after him?" Tyler said - desperate, not accusatory. How could he accuse Josh of anything when he was on the brink of a nervous breakdown?

"Didn't want him to know that it's my cat. And there are so many people, Tyler. Too many. It's loud." Josh's voice was getting softer and shakier until he was basically whispering, eyes puffy and nose running. "He must be so scared."

Tyler couldn't help it: he reached out to squeeze Josh's shoulder, watching his eyes fall shut and trying so goddamn hard to be reassuring. "Relax, okay? I'm gonna go get him." 

The eyes popped back open. "Wait, really?"

"Hell yeah, dude. I'm gonna carry him out of that hellhole like a goddamn superhero," Tyler insisted and clapped him on the arm - and for the first time ever, Josh didn't shrug him away. "I'll be back before you know it."

"That's... super nice of you. I, uh. I mean. _Wow_. Thank you," said Josh, who was probably going to burst into tears again very soon.

"Don't mention it, man," was the last thing Tyler said before taking off, out the door and up the hall with the wrath of God burning deep in his gut. It burned even brighter when he knocked on the asshole's door and came face-to-face with some guy whose breath smelled like he just ate out a swamp creature.

"'Scuse me," Tyler mumbled, squeezing past him and entering some kind of fratboy hellscape. Sure, he went to parties like these all the time, but it was a totally different experience when he was sober and very, very pissed. And he only got angrier when he looked up and saw a plastic bag hanging from the ceiling fan. And he got even _angrier_ when he saw what (or who) was inside that plastic bag.

Someone was going to die tonight.

His first mission was to shove aside at least fifteen ogling, open-mouthed dipshits in order to get to the fan and yank on its cord. Once it slowed to a stop he reached up to remove the bag, and with it the paralyzed cat. A couple people booed; he would've flipped them off if he wasn't cradling said cat like a baby and telling him it was all going to be okay.

His second mission was to make somebody pay, so he approached some girl waiting for the edibles to start kicking in and tapped her on the shoulder.

"'Scuse me," he said for the second time that night. "Who's party is this?"

The girl pointed.

"Thanks," Tyler said, smiling, and handed her the cat. "Can you hold this real quick?"

And with that, he promptly marched across the room to clock the dude in the face.

"What the _fuck!"_ His nose was gushing enough blood to stain the collar of his Nike t-shirt. Good. "The hell's wrong with you?!"

Tyler raised both eyebrows, acutely aware that they had an audience. "Y'know what? I've got a better question for ya: what kind of shitstain hangs a cat from a ceiling fan?"

"Oh, miss me with that PETA bullshit," snarled Asshole McBloodyface. "It's just some stray that got in the building. I didn't even hurt 'im."

"Eat shit, assclown," was all Tyler had to say to that. So he marched back over to the edibles girl, picked up Josh's cat, and left the party he somehow managed to ruin in less than five minutes.

And boy oh boy, did it feel good.

Needless to say, Josh had a few questions concerning the blood on Tyler's knuckles, but he just told him not to worry about it. So for once in his life, Josh didn’t worry. He just threw his arms around Tyler and buried his face in his neck, mumbling “thankyouthankyouthankyou” into the warmth of his skin, and Tyler laughed and hugged him back so fucking tight.

“I think I figured out what I want,” he announced once he pulled away, fingers still curled snug around Josh’s shoulders.

“Yeah?” Josh’s eyes were soft with love. “What’s that?”

Tyler smiled with those crooked teeth he had come to love so much. “A date.”

Josh didn’t even get the chance to say “fuck yeah” before he was being pulled in for a kiss, Tyler’s mouth heavy and sweet and painfully hungry, his hair a fluffy mess that Josh’s fingers got lost in. And yes, he was well aware that he was whining against the lips of the guy who had been blackmailing him for weeks.

He was aware, and he loved it.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm @21bastards on tumblr so come yell at me if you want. actually don't i'm very sensitive


End file.
